(Satire) Gambling Income

Might be an old joke, but worth remembering in our current times of Tax and spend Government.

Credit to:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3P1-aT7FWGM&feature=youtu.be

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If you rather read it::



The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS audiotr was not suprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The audior said, "well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment," which you explain by saying you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'

'I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it, says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?' The audior thinks for a moment and says, 'Okay. Go ahead. 'Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'

The audior thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet." Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The audior's jaw drops. Grandpa says, ' Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'

The auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned audior now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness.

He starts to get nervous. Want to go dourble or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The audior, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants but authough he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urnates all over the audior's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the audior asks. 'Not really,' says the attorney.

'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it.'