Why manafest things?

Why manafest things? Due to the world being a battleground and the war between the self sufficient and the spiritual thinkers for oneness, I understand that my birth and life have been nothing but fake and sorrow. Sure, there were happy moments but having the consciousness of life with war-full regrets and games related to it has trained my mind as a way to know that war is the universe. Peace and light are just another weapon of propaganda by God and those who manage the creative realms; as if they were "realms". Oddly so, these realms are just a liable to separate the meek from the wheat for the ogres and gods to eat. And in retrospect of these passing moments, I know that earth is the opposite of the present universe at hand. Maybe my life was nothing to begin with. Made hopeful in promising time. Yet, my dreams of peace are just that, dreams where war is nothing but God's glory is concerned. Yet what complaint is valid? Unless warranted as to starve to death, or to dehydrate in a polluted concrete wasteland. I understand my promises failed due to someone else's crap. Yet was that my only sin by others karma? (Or my sin as others manafested it?) Or that of time? Space? Time and space as weapons? Such thoughts berate me so. Like weapons. And in the end maybe I was raised by a child in a childish land; knowing that capitol was the new weapon to cap and toll: cap the population's thinking and toll their way instead of love~~?! It does not matter. may be this is heaven's little experiment gone aray? Maybe creativity is the new toll? Maybe I think too much, yet my heartfelt knowing is itself the strangest part. Maybe another earth will happen is the lands of spirit could be brave enough? Maybe my soul plans too much and anticipates butchering by the university of evolution? But did not the truth get squashed by administrators who the Annunaki trusted? Maybe that is the crux of the true problem?

    

The administrators were themselves the test for all sides' hearts and wills. I have heard that the administrators were 7th level soul administrators held captive and driven down into the abyss of darkness all for not eons ago. Yet, they brewed a plan for warcraft and tried to extract the reverse polarity to the universe on prime creator's directive to teach the kiddies a lesson on giving and loving. This is earth. Yet I know love can be beyond a thing. Yet what new weapon beyond light can be there? Is that my secret? Alas, I digress. So then who has what to do with this idea of managing things between? Is it labor management? Is it the toll of capitol? It must be. It cannot be anything else. And even so. There must be a reason. For the heart has a reason to beat, and it is love. It must then be that there is a nefarious force that stole a heart from God or humans and started to play with it as a weapon. If so, then what is the reason, what is the reason to beat? I know my mind and rumors in all of this crap, and I have decided that the 7th levels were and are rogue to their mission (regardless of my mission) to help humanity rise in consciousness and/or love. Maybe "children should not ask such questions"). Maybe we are the weapon and that is only what angels are, weapons. Weapons of God in the form of labor. Weapons to disassemble the crap and reform the idea to trap the end in their own game of inter-dimensional transgressions. What great way as to do this in human monkey suits and berate such things as behavior and truth, selfish ideals and non existent abundance,  or that of the trade of freedom for giving up the idea of stuff. Maybe being poor is a better idea as it is the way to weapon-ize the soul. To weapon-ize vengeance, with love or light like a laser to assisanate those response of management; the rowdy girl. Nevertheless I must be my brother's keeper as God loves me so, as love is the weapon to keep the dark at bay, or whatever that propaganda means. I just want to be peaceful, loving, and not get in the way. Yet my fake value was that of monitoring the fifth dimension and above. Understand that this is war of a karma kind and earth like experiences are hard to come by even in as large of a large universe as this is. I know so as I was the invention of money by creation and the dark stole if their needs. During Atlantis I made a grave mistake: I told that there was a wish for peace and the priests said keep doodling kid maybe you could if you could be important enough to do so. Yet I knew my handicap was there. So I started business consulting and advised to drill into the earth as a last and least resort for oil. Mind that i did not like my own recommendation. It was only logical relative to what we knew at the time. So the rest is the reality. The dichotomy is separation for profits,separation for war, separation for control. Light and dark are being controlled as an alchemical reaction and God does not want to tell such a truth as why then pursue your personal power? Indeed why pursue it when every day is just another idea to slave? Why power when God said greed was not the thing to do? Why pursue personal power when it was tare enough in the first place. I wish to boycott war and maybe that is another excuse for God to reject me, as an excuse of laziness or lacking opportunity. Today many in business are squeezed between light and dark. Yet such dark is required? Maybe it is a trick of legalese?